Resolve

I stopped believing in "New Years Resolutions" in high school. I believe in Resolutions, just not storing them up for the beginning of the year. That part doesn't make sense to me. If you want to change something, change it now. If you're putting it off for however many days, weeks, months it is until January, obviously you're not truly motivated to change. There's a difference between wanting to change, and thinking you're supposed to change.

Having said that, allow me to contradict myself. I do have a number of things I'm seeking improvement on in the near future.

Fitness. I've been working out for 45 minutes each weekday for 12 weeks now. I'm not going to pat myself on the back until I make a full year. My purpose is to fully realize that this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life. This is base, this is the new normal. Fitness every day. Better get used to it now. I've learned that this goal is more about discipline than anything else. I certainly haven't grown to enjoy working out more. I've just been better at forcing myself to do it.

Discipline. Going to sleep early. Getting enough sleep. Eating right. Drinking less. More exercise. Total body care. Staying within our budget. Saving more. Better work habits. Regular blogging. Setting a more comprehensive work schedule for myself. Sticking to the work schedule. Shedding the bullshit stuff I do during the day that doesn't move me forward toward my goals.

Chutzpah. With my art. Boldness in making art, yes, but also in selling myself as an artist. This involves cultivating my own self-confidence as well as shamelessly marketing my work to everyone I can. It means ignoring the fear I feel when faced with those things. It means launching my art career into orbit. Well, maybe I've already launched, but I haven't reached orbit yet. Not by my standards, and not by a long shot.

"Relax and Focus." That's sort of been a new mantra of mine lately. All things are improved when filtered through the "Relax and Focus" mentality. I finally managed to finish reading 7 Habits this year, and my favorite part was the concept of response-ability. The opposite of being reactionary. Pausing and considering before speaking and acting. Refusing to be controlled by my habits, old scripts, and emotions.

Meeting new people, Making new friends. I know a number of people whom I met by chance, but ended up as the most important people in my entire life. One day you're talking to some dude in your college history class, a few months later he introduces you to your soulmate, and 4 years after that he's the best man at your wedding. For instance.

Deepening relationships with current friends. Do you ever get the feeling that people who have known you for years still only see you as a cardboard cutout? I'm never sure who's fault that is, but for propriety's sake, I'll go with both of ours. This applies to some of my better friendships too. They can always be improved. I'm game if you are. Let's get to know each other better.

Reading more. I'd like to read as much fiction as I do non-fiction. Brain food means creativity as well as information. I've pretty much only read non-fiction for years now. In 2009 I read Crimson Petal and The White, which my friend had been trying to get me to read since I was 23 and it was life-changing. Beautiful words, compelling story, dynamic characters. LIFE. CHANGING. (Somewhere in the distance my husband is cursing me because I haven't yet read The Hobbit, and he has read Wuthering Heights, books we recommended to each other 10 years ago.) (I really am a terrible person.)

Letting go. Stop thinking about dumbass people and their dumbass antics. Who cares. The very thought of these people holds me back. I want room in my brain for awesome things. Every unhelpful thing I remove from my mind opens up space for something better. Or, at the very least, it turns into a zen-like Hawaiian beach scene. IN MY MIND. :) Ahhhhh peaceful clarity.



These are our official Gen Kai sake cups. :) Obviously I went with my traditional art. Light Reactive AND glows in the dark! Not that anyone but me will know this. Colin's is just awesome. In fact, the sushi chefs threatened to steal his for their own. As usual, we forgot to take pictures, so we snapped these with my phone while having Christmas Eve dinner. The management at Gen Kai gives these to certain people to decorate and bring back for regular use at the restaurant. They're displayed in the front, and now whenever we have sake there, we get to use our special sake boxes. I feel special just thinking about it. ;o) 

Happy New Year! 

2 comments:

AmyC ~ said...

•Chutzpah. With my art. Boldness in making art, yes, but also in selling myself as an artist. This involves cultivating my own self-confidence as well as shamelessly marketing my work to everyone I can. It means ignoring the fear I feel when faced with those things. It means launching my art career into orbit. ---- and I thought it was just me that felt like this. It is scary!

I agree with everything you posted btw. :)

shayla said...

Nope! Me too. :) I'm reading another book right now ("Never Get a Real Job") and one of the things that stuck out to me was learning to mesh your personal being and business into one entity. You ARE your art career, etc. Hard to accept, of course, and scary in its own right because now you're REALLY risking your pride and whatnot, but totally and completely necessary. :)

Thanks for your comment!