Paradigm Shift

(Yosemite, May 2010)

Those who know us know that we've been on a self-improvement kick since, oh... 2002. It's not just the self-help meetings, and the self-help books, but a genuine desire to be on a path of betterment and personal growth. Even those who resent us for it could not say we aren't far better off than before. Subsisting on top ramen and leftover Chinese food from my job as a Chinese food delivery driver does not particularly make for adequate health or a desirable lifestyle. (Nor does smelling like Chinese food 24 hours a day. Yuck.) Hooray for being in your early 20s!

At some point during this, we realized that our lives as emotionally and financially broken people was not something we wanted to continue. So we started the slow and steady journey away from it.

We've learned over the years that those who resent us for this journey can suck it. That's right. There, I've said it.

I've started reading The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People again. I've started it at least twice before. Colin has read it. My favorite part of reading it now is seeing his notes in the margins and paragraphs he's highlighted. I try to pay special attention to those paragraphs.

We used to talk a lot about paradigm shifts at Immersion. [long story] That's where I first understood the concept. Altering the framework by which you view something in a profound and significant way. Relearning what you're seeing and experiencing.

I think I'm going through another personal shift.

I tend not to think of myself as a successful person, despite having various successes that I am fully appreciative of, and having others point out my successes to me often. This paradigm of myself has always been a bit shifty. Lately, with the increasing workload I have, I've been thinking about my situation a lot, and contemplating my future. I have many plans. I want (need) to know that I will be capable of accomplishing them. I need to change my view of myself so that it fits the future I am planning.

If I don't see that I'm strong, then I won't be.

So this is what I've been doing for the last two weeks. In my head, anyway. I've also been frantically painting, sketching, and planning fairly significant upcoming events. Many of my current, exciting, amazing plans don't involve direct means to make money. This confuses me, but I'm thrilled at the projects themselves. As an artist, it's been awhile since I've done much art-for-art's-sake.  I've not only been re-energized, but I have a clearer vision of who I am, and where I'm going. I'm daunted by the work involved. I'm apprehensive about how I will have to change in order to make it all happen. But, when I look at the person I plan to be on the other side of it, I'm proud. I'm confident. I'm capable.

Lots of stuff to tell you about this week. :o) Big news, big plans. Can't wait. ;o)

3 comments:

Gwenn said...

This same thing happened to me. Early on in my relationship with my partner, he pointed out to me that I was setting the bar too low for myself. He encouraged me to come up with a bigger goal and it changed everything about my career as an artist!

HMH said...

Inspiring as I think most of us have to come to that crossroads at some time (sometimes multiple times). It's what we choose at such times that makes all the difference.

shayla said...

For sure. I hope I'm always reaching a point where I want to improve myself further. There's always room for more. :o)