[Art & Musings column] Whose Art Is It Anyway?

"I’ve heard that it’s not the artist’s job to judge their own work, but to instead make the work and let others decide what it is. I can agree with that. I think the problem comes when I simply don’t feel I’m done making the work. Even if I’ve signed it. Even if I’ve said it was finished."

Read the full column at Art & Musings.

Bursting

(birdies say what??)

I don't really even want to talk about it at length, for fear of jinxing whatever Energy Spell I'm currently under, but holy crap I've been getting a lot done lately.

There's not really a direct reason for it, I still don't sleep very well, but after I shake myself out of exhaustion around 8am every day I am zoomin' around. Even on weekends.

And I don't even drink coffee!

It feels good, whatever it is, and I don't expect it to last, because these spells never do, but part of me holds onto the lofty notion that this is just who I am now. ♥

I reorganized my whole bloody studio last weekend. We added an additional art table to the mix, and devoted a larger portion of our home to art stuff, basically our entire downstairs. More room for art, more room to grow an art business.

I also cooked a bunch of veggies that we overbought for freezing, because hey! Savings! And I did our taxes! And I finished writing my column early! And I finished reading Lord of The Rings! :oO

I'm not even sure anymore that it's energy. I think I'm just in a really great mood.

Maybe all this exercising is finally catching up with me. For three months we went to Krav Maga class once a week, and for the last eight weeks we've been going twice a week, and now we're gonna jump it up to three. Three classes per week. I still don't have a six-pack yet, but I've been feeling really wonderful.

I've also started meditating every day, which I decided to do for 40 days. I'm on day 15 now. At this point, I have no intention of stopping. I love it.

Is it all connected? I have no idea. I know that this week is one I haven't been looking forward to all year. I am usually depressed on the anniversary of my grandfather's death (in 2001), and this year I get to add in the anniversary of Joey's death. In the same freaking week. Thanks, Universe.

But I'm strangely filled with Joy. Maybe Joey's incredible spirit is coming back around. Maybe that's what he has ultimately given me. I knew before he died that his sweet, energetic, every-day-is-the-best-day-of-my-life personality was the thing I wanted to hold onto most.

Maybe now it's within me. Maybe I'm that person. Is it possible that Joey has turned the week I've always loathed into something wonderful, something to be happy over? Is he protecting me from myself? He would do that. Crazy, wonderful, perfect dog.

Either way, I am straight up bursting with life right now and I'm just gonna ride this as long as I can.

Here, There and Everywhere . 30x90 inches . 2012

New painting. :)

 

1. natural light 
2. interior light

3. mixed uv and interior light 

4. uv (black) light 

5. no light (glow in the dark)

Ingredients: acrylic, candle wax, crushed glass, phosphorescent pigments, water & light on canvas.

So a friend that I've known since I was 5 moved into a beautiful big new house with beautiful empty walls and asked me to create original artwork for their living room.

::panic::

Not really.

Actually, I love doing commissions, especially when I know the person in question well (meaning their style) and I can see the house it will be hanging in frequently before starting the work. I remember once it was decided, I began looking at all the details around the house, trying to absorb absolutely everything about it. The windows, the ceiling, the accent colors, the floor, the rooms down the hallway, the kitchen, the backyard. It was all important.

I'm very intuitive in that way. It's one of my favorite things to do. I wanted to work with the space it would live in, as well as the family that would view it. Kristen & Greg have a lot of warm colors in their home, with certain rooms having red walls, certain rooms with buttery yellow walls, and all with beautiful hardwood floors. There were little accents of teal throughout the house, which stood out to me most. It seemed natural to work with that color to balance the rest, and to fill an otherwise empty pale yellow wall with a truly explosive color.

Most importantly, I wanted them to like it, and I wanted to feel proud of it since I would be seeing it fairly often. Although this did create an intense pressure to work under, I feel it brings out my best abilities. There's no way I would have given it to them if I didn't think I'd met all of my personally strict criteria in creating it.

I think it's one of the most unique pieces I've made in my entire career.

Oh. And here's what I wrote on the canvas beneath the paint: :)

I haven't even told them it's there yet. And no one will ever see it, but I just love knowing that little details like that exist. 

♥

[new column] In Pursuit of Passion

"We each have a smattering of interests that choreograph our lives. Those passions make us who we are. There are writer-dancers, fighter-painters, gardener-teachers, scientist-musicians, and floral-arranging-sculptors out there who each bring a different perspective to the world as we know it."

More at Art & Musings!

[new column] The Shower Scene - A Gallery Story

New column up at Art & Musings, in which I recall my very first, very awkward gallery experience.

"We left the night on as best a note as possible, and I was just happy that for the most part, and for appearances’ sake, it was a downright successful opening for me. The hard part was over, I debuted well, I sold work, and now my art would hang in a gallery for the next month for more people to see.

Or so I thought."

More at Art & Musings!

Staying in Creative Shape

New column up!

"Sometimes I get blocked for so long that my ability seems almost atrophied. I can’t paint, I can’t write. All my ideas are listless, weak. I forget how to push myself through a process I should know how to do better than anything else in my life."

More at Art & Musings!

Remnant . 20x20 inches . 2012

1. natural light

2. interior/artificial light

3. interior and uv/blacklight combined

4. uv light only

5. no light

Ingredients: acrylic, phosphorescent pigments, crushed glass, crushed seashells, varnish, water & light on canvas.

I have used seashells in paintings before, but in this situation, I wanted to highlight them for their own beauty. So I sprinkled some on top, at the very last stage. They are not painted over. I wanted the seashells to show their own color and texture, and not compete with the rest of the painting.

These crushed pieces were taken from an abalone shell that I once collected from Moonstone Beach in Cambria, on the Central California coast. Cambria is a special place for me. My grandparents often took me there as a child, where my Grandpa and I spent hours combing the beach for interesting shells, rocks, and driftwood. He collected such things, and his collections remain largely untouched at my grandmother's house since his death in 2001.

Later, Colin proposed to me on the very same beach.

I have many different items I've collected from that beach over the course of my lifetime. Using some of it to be commemorated permanently in paintings is fitting. :)

This painting is $1000, and the last in a series of three 20x20 inches pieces I'm making this year. If you're interested in collecting it, feel free to email me or purchase it in my Etsy shop.

The Skirt

I've had this skirt in my possession for about 10 years now, and I've adored it without ceasing though it's certainly not in my wardrobe rotation. The fabric is... well, basically it's Light Reactive. The color changes from purple to teal and it looks like a mermaid would wear it if mermaids wore skirts.

I think I wore it one time to an Easter/Spring/Fertility type festival we did with Immersion one year, based on the movie Chocolat. There was chocolate and wine and rave lights and art tables and prayer stations. Basically the type of thing that would peeve a number of people (whom I have no interest in associating) and feel like a refreshing waterfall of awesome to others.

Immersion was rad like that.

Anyhoo, since Immersion is now a personal journey and I haven't been to a rave in 8 years, this skirt has lost any hope of use, and before I end up ditching it in a fit of spontaneous decluttering or chopping it into a scarf, Colin thought photographing the wonder of it in all its glory would be a mutually beneficial solution.

I truly hadn't intended the nakedness for nakedness' sake, but honestly, what do I own anymore that goes with this skirt? Nothing. So, we went with what works. And I think it's freaking awesome. And good for me, by the way. Go bold or go home. Or, at least, that's what I'm on a mission to learn.

But this isn't about me.

It's about THE SKIRT.

In Between the Art

New column up at Art & Musings!

"Our lives should be as interesting and inspiring as our art. Being an artist is an action, not a title."

More at Art & Musings!

Serenity . 30x40 inches . 2012

1. natural light

2. interior light

3. mixed interior and uv/black light

4. uv light only

5. no light (glow in the dark)

Ingredients: acrylic, phosphorescent pigments, crushed glass, varnish, water & light on canvas. 

I've said it before, but it keeps becoming true in new ways. This is the biggest full moon I've ever done.  It's huge. It's like you're standing right in front of the MOON. 

It's funny how from a scientific standpoint, the moon is a cold, dusty, barren environment, but we take such warmth and comfort in its presence. The moon is romantic. It's peaceful. Serene. 

The glorious full moon is one of the most beautiful sights we humans will ever experience. I suppose only astronauts have the advantage on beautiful heavenly scenes. 

It only makes sense that this moon glows brightly and blue for the entire night. It will always be there to watch over the home in which it's hung, even literally guiding its owner by light in the blackness.

As someone who wakes up often throughout the night, I absolutely require this in my life nowadays. I keep a painting in the bedroom for this reason, and I'm known to walk downstairs to my studio in the darkness just to see everything I'm working on glowing in the dark. At this point in my life and career, my relationship to light within my work has become part of my soul. I can't imagine not having it around. Without it, I can only envision life to be a little bit darker and more depressing. 

Light is hopeful.

May it bring clarity and serenity to all who see it in its new home.

The following images show its iridescence:

Viewed standing on the right.

Viewed from the left.

New at Art & Musings: The Artist's Drug of Choice

Head over to Art & Musings to read my latest column: The Artist's Drug of Choice

"We can be addicted to all sorts of emotions, good and bad. Sometimes a simple bad habit (like laziness) can move so far down the rabbit hole that it becomes its own beast. We can’t see the obvious trajectory of chaos we’re in, even if we’re not enjoying it. We are addicted to the problem because we’ve been doing it for too long. We lose control."

Ready For What's Next

Normally I'm anti-New-Year's-resolutions, not because I don't believe in resolutions (I very much do) but because I've always thought that resolutions happen all year, not in January, and if you wait until January, you're not really resolving to change anything anyway.

However.

My birthday happens to be in January, so I get to go against all of that, because I do like to meditate on what I want for each new year of my life, and check myself against where I hope to be one day. I've always sort of thought that one should imagine their life at a certain point in the future, not too far ahead, and then work backwards to determine what steps must be taken in order to accomplish that image of yourself.

In my late 20s, I saw 30 as a distinct marking point along my path in life. I did not fear it as some around me seemed to, but instead used it as a goal to give myself direction. I felt there were aspects of my life that I wanted to be a certain way when I turned 30, and if those things were met or close to being met, then I was on the right track. It gave me positive pressure to work under. If my life was clearly moving along the direction I wanted it to be, what did I have to fear about any age?

I think because of this, I have adored my 30s. I'm much happier in this decade than any one before it. Granted, I'm only two years into it, but so far, so good. It's only just begun and I've already accomplished so much.

In this last year alone, I've gone to Japan and Kauai, had a very successful sold out show in Los Angeles that I put on myself, tripled my income, begun writing with true intention and regularity, paid off all our consumer debt, started saving money, am more fit than I've ever been in my life and have conquered a 16 year old dream to be a fighter and an athlete by taking up martial arts.

I also said goodbye to my best friend, which was certainly not the highlight of my year, but I'm incredibly proud of how we handled the situation and I'm eternally grateful that he stuck with me for as long as he did. I can't express that enough. His death was difficult, but his life was one of the best things that ever happened to me.

It's been a pretty significant year.

And I have to wonder how much more I will accomplish this year than last. There's nothing but fear and doubt to tell me otherwise, and I'm not really interested in paying that attention right now. At least not for my birthday. For my birthday, I give myself the freedom to know that this year will be awesome in ways I could never have imagined and that I will grow to be even closer to my ideal.

I have some pretty giant goals in mind for the next phase of my life.

I'm really looking forward to it.

Newest Art & Musings! The Highs and Lows (of making art)

(This picture is simply the shadows of the outside trees on a blank canvas in my studio. Neat, right?)

"In my art, I like to risk ruining everything, only to eventually save it. I’ll often do something drastic, like throw blue paint where it wasn’t intended, and suffer the repercussions of doing so as though it were a surprise. I’m sure there’s a very obvious psychological reflection of what that means in my own personal life, but hey. That’s why I’m an artist."

Head over to Art & Musings to read the full piece! 

Reverie . 20x20 inches . 2012

Clouds! :oO

1. natural light

2. artificial interior light

3. artificial and UV light combined

4. UV light alone

5. no light (glow in the dark)

Ingredients: acrylic, phosphorescent pigments, crushed glass, glass beads, varnish, water & light on canvas.

I sort of became obsessed with making clouds after painting The Shire last year. This started out as just a test run for a bigger cloud painting, but then I couldn't figure out why not to make it a cloud painting in its own right. So it was.

As usual with the little glass beads used in these clouds, it's impossible to show the true effect with a camera lens. There's something magical about how the sunlight gets in behind the beads and makes it look all fairy dusty and 3D. I sit there taking pictures at all angles trying to get the photo to match what I see with my eyes, but it's just not going to happen. I'm sure at some point camera technology will catch up with my artistic needs.

Actually, what I really loved most about this design isn't even the clouds, but the way the circle/sun/moon floats perfectly in the sky, hovering above the clouds, like a moment caught in time. It's happily content there, suspended in blue and allowing the viewer to pause and gaze at the whole moment without going blind. When can you do that in real life?

And who doesn't love to sit and stare and dream up stories about the clouds?

Reverie is $1000 and available now in my Etsy shop, or feel free to email me. Payment plans accepted.

Reverie, Echo, and one other piece I haven't quite finished yet are the smallest paintings I'm planning for the year so far. Just FYI.

I really do stress over crap like this.

 

Generally each year I come up with a new "collection" of work to be released, a bunch of paintings usually relating to each other, but occasionally with random bits and pieces thrown in from work I hadn't previously finished, or ideas that I want to play around with.

I sketch everything down together in my sketchbook so I can see how it looks as a whole.

Inevitably, I take so long getting around to starting certain pieces within a collection that I've lost the inspiration for it. So then the question is, do I push forward anyway? Or change direction and follow the new burst of creativity?

There are pros and cons to both. For one thing, as I'm facing today, I've already marked the hell out of a canvas with black, permanent paint pen in a design I once thought was genius but now see as trite and boring.

I could just paint over it in white. Like it never happened.

It really screws up my ability to produce massive amounts of work though, which just happens to be one of my major goals this year. Producing massive amounts of work. If I keep changing my mind, I'll never reach the amounts I'm aiming for.

And hey, with all that black paint pen, I'm already started! I can just start painting right now!

But dammit, I'm not feeling it. If I'm not feeling it now, the risk is hating the art more as it goes on, and having to switch direction WAY down the line after it's a goopy sloppy impossible mess.

In this case, I've decided to change it. No one but me will ever know what crazy magic design lies underneath the new painting. HA! I win. At least until paint pen x-ray technology is perfected.